Stupid Funny Sayings

Brad Flory column: Hey, graduates, go easy on the flip-flops and Internet posts

Congratulations, Class of 2011.

Here is useful advice you won’t hear from the commencement speaker.

Never wear flip-flops and shorts to a job interview. Not even if they are, like, super comfortable. The job world has no interest in your comfort.

Stop putting so much personal information on the Internet. People can see that stuff, you know, and some will hold your idea of fun against you.

Learn to cook. Froot Loops and Hot Pockets do not count.

Figure out the difference between what you need and what you want. You’ll soon discover the distinction is important.

When you get caught doing something wrong, saying you take full responsibility is not the same thing as taking full responsibility. Taking full responsibility requires you to do things, unless you are a professional athlete or a politician.

Always remember that no one believes they owe you anything unless you earn it. Then try to remember they are right.

Don’t be stupid enough to try heroin because it is cheap now. Drano is cheap, too, and injecting it might have the same result. Seriously, dude, I have covered courts in Jackson longer than you have been alive and it is sickening how, all of a sudden, so many asinine and life-ruining crimes are explained by someone’s appetite for more heroin. Nothing about that stuff is cheap.

Pull your pants up, for God’s sake.

Enjoy the good things about places where you live. People who always complain about the bad things find more bad no matter where they go.

If you ever want a baby because it sounds like fun, don’t do it.

Boys, never ridicule a woman because of her physical appearance, no matter how funny you think you are. Every man I ever saw humiliate a woman that way was an ass.

Girls, don’t expect men to always listen. If you can forgive this as a genetic flaw, your relationships will be much less stressful.

Clean up your own messes. Once you start, you’ll make fewer of them.

Try my sure way to win at the lottery: Take the money you want to spend on lottery tickets each week and put it in a secret hiding place. Wait two or three years and you will be amazed how much you win.

Live and let live, mind your own business, and don’t worry about things that don’t hurt you. We are all headed for trouble if those old sayings continue going out of style.

In conclusion, Class of 2011, the future stands before you.

Free Stupid Funny Quotes | funny quotes

You know how sometimes nothing is more entertaining than stupid funny quotes that make you laugh out loud. These short and simple quotes have the power to bring you laughter and joy in just a few seconds of reading them.

No wonder every day tens of thousands of people search for stupid, silly funny quotes. Maybe you are bored at work and want to find something to amuse you for a while to boost your energy.

You may even be at home on a lazy weekend, and are looking for a way to have fun and pass your time. Then funny quotes are a brilliant idea to add more fun and laughter to your day.

You can also search for online jokes and funny sayings in many topics in addition to humorous quotes. You can find all kinds of hilarious sayings and quotes about life, office, work, love, family, men and women, sex, and much more.

So when you are looking for funny sayings and quotes, where can you find the best and funniest ones? Here are some tips to help you…

So Where Can You Find Stupid Funny Quotes ?

Finding funny quotes on the Internet is quite easy. There are many websites that offer them for free and you can easily find lots of them. But there are also a few tips to help you find the best and funniest quotes to enjoy the most.

Search for a Specific Topic to Find More Quotes

When you are searching for funny quotes, narrow down your search to the specific topic you like the most. This way you can find the best desired quotes that you will enjoy the most.

For example if you are at work and are bored, you may want to search for “funny office quotes”, because it is related to your current situation and will be more fun.

Or if you are going to your friend’s birthday party and want to amuse everyone with a few silly, stupid quotes, you can narrow down your search to this key phrase, “funny birthday quotes”. So you will find the most related sunny quotes you are looking for.

It may be helpful to browse through a few different quotes websites to find some catchy, funny ones that really get your attention. Enjoy!

Phillips' book of great thoughts, funny sayings, a stupendous collection of quotes, quips, epigrams, witticisms, and humorous comments : for personal enjoyment and ready reference

Savage childhood, a study of Kafir children

Make Work Fun, 139 Ways to Lighten Up Your Workplace

Motivational Writing Lessons, Clever, Humorous, and Altogether Creative Lessons

The book of anecdotes, and budget of fun, containing a collection of over one thousand of the most laughable sayings and jokes of celebrated wits and humorists